I've been resting...

and sleeping a lot since Wednesday. I meet with my primary care doc on Tuesday. I am hoping I can get my gallbladder out soon, I fear it growing too large to be removed laparoscopically. I know it has to come out, I am just eager to complete that portion of steps in this entire process.

I am also going to ask about talking to a neurologist or a pain management doctor regarding the pain in my lower right quadrant. I also have to have my insulin resistance tested and figure out where to go from there.

It's nice to rest and be a little spoiled- although I have managed to get my laundry almost completely caught up, both on my own and with help.

So here we go onto the next phase of figuring me out... LOL!

Post-Op

If you can call it that...

I had my "surgery" yesterday for the pain I have had for 4.5 years that I was sure were adhesions, the surgeon confirmed and we were scheduled to remove the suckers yesterday. Problem is, I have NO adhesions. Not a one. I could have cried when the nurse told me that. I am not crazy, I do not make up this pain and NO pain medications touch it. I am on oxycodone (generic percocet NOT Oxycotin which is more intense) for the incision pain but it isn't touching the rt lower quad pain in my abdomen. He shot an injection in the nerve endings inside of me, but the pain is returning.

here's what angers me, the deal was that if there were no adhesions for whatever reason, my gallbladder was to be removed. It's functioning at 4% and I did get a picture of it and it's inflamed. I am NOT a doctor, but I know it shouldn't look like a mini basketball. so I googled normal gallbladders and inflamed gallbladders.... sure enough mine looks like one that is labled as "inflamed".

When I first began to complain about the pain I went to the OB/GYN who did my last C-section because it seemed to be around ovulation and menstruation times. She diagnosed it as being in my last layer of skin, a large blob of scar tissue. It showed up on my CT scan. So when I asked yesterday if this would be removed, I was told no, that the surgeon would prefer me to be awake while he excises it. It's really rather large, I don't think his reasoning is acceptable to me (he stated he wanted me awake so that I could show him where it was... you can FEEL it). I have a HIGH tolerance for pain- it was confirmed again because I came out of surgery with no need for pain medication and even today, I am not really bothered by the incisions. I am taking the percocet in case I would be, but I am due for a dose now and they are not bothering me in the slightest. a lil tender like if I had cut myself but that's to be expected.

I also had my heart rate dip into the 40's post op and my bp took a dive... but I have low bp and I know following the birth of one of my kids the reading freaked me out (it was like 79/56) but I was told that was really pretty normal when resting (I had been asleep before the started taking it). BUT that was the first time I'd ever heard me having issues like that with anesthesia.

I had HORRIBLE acid reflux post op too. It was making me stop breathing correctly. I took my nexium so who knows... honestly, my gallbladder is probably hindering my digestion (I've been told it is) and I doubt my stomach was totally empty despite the fact that I followed all the rules about fasting.

I am calling my primary care doc this morning to see if I can get in to see him and show him the pictures they took. He believes I am insulin resistant and I think I have some proof for him. I had my last cycle on November 2 and the pictures show I have cysts on my right ovary and it was labeled as "recent ovulation". I am only 10 days past I should not be ovulating and should not have done so previously. Irregular cycles are indicative of insulin resistance so I want him to see these pictures, I also want to take my CD of my CT scan and ask him about the scar tissue in my skin and show him my gallbladder. I am scared of it rupturing. the surgeon in Cincinnati wanted me to wait until Feb for 2 reasons- 1- to make sure he didn't spill toxins from the gb into the wounds from adhesion removal and 2- to check and make sure the adhesions were not returning.

BUT since I really didn't have surgery- it was more like a very pricey camera diagnosis- I really don't see any reason to return to Cincinnati to have the thing removed. It's a long trip and even though I am at the point this year where everything is paid for, that doesn't cover gas costs, eating out, and Bethesda charges for tv in the room. Not to mention all the planning I have to do to make sure my kids are where they need to be when they need to be there. I had these kids, I do not like passing my work off on to anyone else, especially that of taking care of my family. So I am going to ask Dr. Martz for a surgeon here in town that he recommends and to ask if I can have both the GB and the scar tissue removed at the same time.

I can't exercise with it in, it hinders my daily life functions- I can't pick up my kids, can't bend over, can't walk for long distances, can't reach up, can't bathe the youngest two. It's insane. I am 35 years old, I just want my quality of life back.

Lunches!!!

I don't photograph every lunch I pack because there is no cause for repeating myself. I do a lot of the same lunches over and over- salads with fresh vegetables, pasta salads, fruit (fresh) and raw vegetables- stuff like that.

Something both A1 and B love are peanut butter and honey roll ups. Spread peanut butter on a tortilla, drizzle with honey and roll up and cut into pinwheels. These got rave reviews.



this is a hard boiled egg, banana chips, vanilla wafers and a vegetable sub. I took apiece of white American cheese, cut it into four wedges, lined two on either side of a hot dog bun, filled the center with cucumber slices and diced red pepper. I cut it in half, one for A1 and one for B.




Fat Free Bumble Bee Tuna salad kit, cherry tomatoes, sugar free applesauce and a mini muffin. This was paired with half a container of yogurt. I do that a lot- the kids can dip fresh fruit in it or eat it plain.




Just be sure if you send in pineapple yogurt or vanilla yogurt tell your kids... B almost dumped her Pineapple yogurt on her salad thinking it was ranch! OOPS!

So much for a daily post... Geesh

I found out some new things messed up with me medically... and they explain a lot. I have a Vitamin D deficiency. My level was a 9, it should be up over 30. I am taking 50,000 units of Vitamin D twice a week now. I am also showing signs of "pre-diabetes". My doctor does not believe that this is the accurate diagnosis. he believes, given everything I have told him, that I am insulin resistant. My body doesn't allow insulin to do its thing, and turns carbs and sugars into fat. A side effect of Vitamin D deficiency? Obesity.

today I am so extremely tired, I can hardly move. The fatigue is so incredible that I have slept after folding laundry, after making lunch. It is unreal. I have surgery in two days, I know with my body as it is, the narcotics I will take following surgery will have me in a semi-coma way of life. My husband will have to step up and take over so much. Thank God he is so good to me that he doesn't mind.

I wanted to get so much done before Wednesday, it's just a shame that I am too tired to do it. It upsets and angers me because I am the Momma, this is my job. At the same time, I marvel at how much I am blessed to have two teenage boys who step up to the plate over and over again to help out, to do the family thing. I marvel at how blessed I am to have friends who have told me that if I need anything to call on them. I marvel that my family- mom, in-laws and husband love me enough to take over the duties I am simply unable to do.

We are all going to be OK. You do not get assigned a cross that doesn't fit your back. I just look forward to getting my medical insanity under control.

There are some reasons to celebrate! My cholesterol is 143, triglycerides 76, iron level is 11.2 only slightly low. (I've been down to 6.4 before) and my blood cell size is still somewhat small (meaning they do not carry around iron as they should) but bigger than where they were over a year ago.

I will have surgery and then have a 2-hour sugar test when I feel up to it. Following that, I will more than likely be placed on medication to help my body understand what the insulin is there for and help me lose weight.

So there ya have it. I am a mess right now, but things often get worse before they get better so I am claiming that right for myself.

Daily updates...

I just found out there is a NaBloPoMo challenge out there... I am already doing NaNoWriMo... and since I will be out of commission of life from Nov 11 until the 30th, (HOPEFULLY) I wonder if I could take on another challenge...

I am not going to commit to it formally. I am very intent on completing my novel in a month's time. It's going well, today was the first day to write, and I have managed to log 5000 words. I jumped into the skin of my main character Kenda Mathis totally. She's not much like me at all and I am enjoying writing the story from her point of view even if the subject matter is appalling and disgusting. Diving down deep into the bitter recesses of her being (she's a character so she doesn't have a soul) has been interesting, everything I love about writing is flowing back into me with every word I write. Story ideas are zinging about in my brain like a pinball with several flippers smacking it around. FUN.

So I am going to try and update my blog EVERY. SINGLE. DAY for the month of November, I just ask that if I don't get time on the 11th, everyone understands! LOL!

Oh and my farmer gave me two massively huge onions so I am going to make and potentially blog about french onion soup in my crock pot! :) YEAY!

Life begins at 35??

I always thought that those who are a bit more, ahem, seasoned than myself chose to pepper their life activities with statements such as "Life begins at 65!" To be honest, I am not at all sure why the term "The Golden Years" was coined save for putting a shine onto a period of life where memories of a life once lived may be more sweet than the life currently lived.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean that life is not precious. Each and every moment of it is! But as a thirty-five year old woman, my life is centered around food- meetings include a snack, there are cookies after concerts, I just took my mother out for dinner yesterday for her birthday. I've worked as a nurse's assistant, I know taste buds die out and spicy food items are crossed off of one's "OK" list as we age.

My diet isn't the best in the world. I put on weight VERY easily. I take it off reluctantly. I spent one spring and summer working out twice a day, living on fruits and vegetables and never shed a solitary pound. I wore smaller clothing, but according to the charts and medical "experts" I was still the "o" word. I still am. After that, I became very discouraged and convinced that I would always be a plus-sized gal. My husband thinks I am gorgeous, so what other approval do I need?

This way of thinking, thinking I have pounded into my skull, just may be changing.

After 35 years of service my gall bladder has opted to retire. It slowed down a few years ago (hence the inability to actually drop pounds), but I didn't realize it. I began showing signs of serious problems last year. My father was diagnosed with Stage IV colo-rectal cancer in July. He ignored his problems for far too long. When he realized I was having the same problems, he pushed me to have it looked at, citing his tragic diagnosis every step of the way.

I went through all the tests, and the GI doctor gave me a clean bill of health as far as cancer was concerned, but discovered I had ulcers- 3 in my esophagus and 1 in my small intestine. I also had food in my digestive tract 12 hours after consuming it. In normal people, digestion goes along quite smoothly. Food enters the stomach and, as we recall from 3rd grade health class, mixes with acids to become a thick paste-like substance. Digestion really takes place in your intestines. Most food moves on from stomach to intestines at a decent clip. Mine was not. I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis- a paralyzed stomach, slow motility.

Unlike the majority of GP'ers I didn't lose weight. I gained it. And I gained it while living on liquid nourishment. I took Nexium and felt so much better! Again I decided that losing weight wasn't going to happen, after all I gained it on Ensure and Life Water, so I went back to eating pretty much what I wanted. Vegetables irritated me so did Chinese food, it seemed like a no-win situation.

I sought out a surgeon to fix my adhesions. When he read about my GI issues and diagnosis, he asked me how much weight I'd lost. When I stated I had gained weight, he told me my gall bladder was bad. I had the required tests and sure enough, it functions at 4% of what it should. Turns out that lil bugger was slowing down my digestive tract, in a BIG fashion.

So now I am eating a low-fat diet. The list of what I CANNOT eat is without a doubt much longer than the list of foods I CAN eat. So long pork chops, ground beef, meatloaf, yellow cheeses, alcohol, oatmeal, pancakes, Ritz crackers, spare ribs, instant breakfasts, milk, ice cream, egg yolks and potato chips. This is an adjustment, and it's temporary.

I am going to have my adhesions removed on November 11. Three months following that surgery, I will have my gall bladder removed. It is essential that I eat low-fat so as not to trigger any gall bladder attacks. Since my gall bladder is full of toxins and my adhesion pain is constant, the adhesions will be removed FIRST and the gall bladder second so that any toxins that may spill out upon removal will NOT infect the wounds left behind from the removal of the adhesions. The second surgery will also allow the doctor to take note on HOW WELL he did removing my adhesions and NOT allowing them to RETURN.

Today I am following my new diet to the letter. R has a concert tonight at his high school. I am making a quick dinner of baked chicken nuggets and waffle fries for the kids. Even baked, there are too many fat grams for me. I am having a pan "fried" (Pam ONLY in the skillet) boneless, skinless chicken breast. I am actually starving and by now probably would have had a piece of bread, but I only get < 50 fat grams, it's important that I save them for my meals.

So there you have it. Life for me is beginning at 35! I am retiring my old style of eating as well as my gall bladder. We are both going to be fine... but by the way if you have any low-fat recipes, please feel free to toss them in my direction. I just don't think I could handle the "raw food" way of life! :)

FALL!

It's my favorite time of year! My favorite Holiday is Thanksgiving! I love the colors, the smell in the air, the comfort food and the fact that you can still be outside and enjoy the outdoors without being frozen in 60 seconds. I LOVE seasons, which is why I LOVE Ohio, but I prefer Winter inside with hot cocoa and a log on the fire and I prefer summer in the pool or inside with the air. I LOATHE mud so Spring has to lose top billing in my seasons list, but fall... AHHHHHHHH. PERFECTION!

And so as I begin to prepare for winter, I shall relish every spare moment during fall to prepare for gloomy days where hibernation sounds much better than going for a walk. I am making some small goals to myself, mostly in the areas of house work and meal preparation, but also in adding more activity to the kids' lives as well.

I want to do a leaf book with A1 for his preschool homework I give to him. When the leaves change, I plan to take a Saturday afternoon bundle everyone up and hit the trail at Teddy Bear Park collecting leaves. When we arrive home, I want to warm us all up with some chili for dinner. Over the week, depending on when Mother Nature touches the deciduous trees with her magic wand, A1and I will work on his "book" and I will have B and A2 make place mats.

I want to get all the outgrown coats out, washed and delivered to the Salvation Army with the kids in tow. They need to learn from doing.

I want to see when the Y has open swimming on Sundays so that we can attend and wear ourselves out since we can no longer play in our backyard pool. After Mass and lunch it would be a GREAT way to kill some time.

When the older boys were younger, we used to do Family Movie Night. While I am not a proponent of TV on school nights (I seriously do NOT allow it), this was something we all looked forward to. We would have a simple supper of soup and sandwiches, bathe early and dress for bed and then watch a family-friendly movie complete with popcorn. I'd like to go back to doing that.

I also want to make up a chore chart. That sounds like a no-brainer, like I should have had this done years ago. Before high school we had Friday night chores. After work, school and dinner, we would clean the house on Friday leaving the weekend free! I LOVED IT! What i want to do is FORCE myself and everyone else in this house to cleaning ONE ROOM a night. By Saturday it should all be done.

On Saturdays, I hope to be able to get over my fear of DIY. I have so many things that need to be done outside our home. Our shutters need to be cleaned and repainted. Our deck needs to be power washed and sealed. Our bushes need to be trimmed. Our flower beds need to be revamped and revised. Quikrete needs to be added to my front walk way. And even though my driveway is far gone, I'd like to go ahead and fill the cracks and seal it anyway. My downspouts and gutters need to be corrected and replaced. And I'd like to caulk all the windows outside before winter. After A2 bowls (and before) there is NO REASON for me not to get this done, with help from T and R.

HAH There, I set the bar for myself... let's see how far I go before I fall and have to kick my own behind AGAIN! :)